Finding Mom Availability
Finding Mom will be published October 6, 2016
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All other major book retailers
Series: Nurturing the Mom You Are, Book 1
Publisher: My Koala Pouch publishing
Genre: Non-fiction, parenting, self-help, personal growth, mom self-care
Finding Mom Q&A
Where did you get your idea for Finding Mom?
It was a real wake-up call when I was at a playdate and another mom asked me what I liked to do and what hobbies I had. I couldn’t answer her. I was silent for an unusually long time as I realized how bland I had become. I realized that I had lost all balance in my life. At that particular moment, I didn’t have any real aspirations or even things I liked to do. I lost all perspective of my life, and I didn’t have my own identity other than “Mom.”
How does the Finding Mom’s personality quiz work?
The quiz looks at two different character continuums. These continuums intersect to create four unique personalities which are explained in depth in the book.. In Chapter 6, you will be taking a personality quiz to figure out where you fall on each continuum and which personality you have. Afterwards we dive into what the different personalities mean to moms specifically. Then we explore your family’s personalities and how the Finding Mom personalities interact.
What is my personality from the Finding Mom’s personality quiz?
My personality style is a Helper. I still like being with others but I work best by myself. My house is definitely not always clean, but I do have house-cleaning tasks on my to-do list that I try to accomplish each day. I’m good at organizing and planning but not good at delegating. I prefer to do things myself, and sometimes I find myself micromanaging others too much. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my to-do list that I have to make a conscious effort to put it away for a few hours and really engage my daughters in playtime.
What is the most important takeaway from Finding Mom?
The most important part about rediscovering yourself is getting “me time.” “Me time” is time where you don’t need to be a mom. It is the time you can relax and be yourself. Depending on your personality, this could be time alone to read, to try a new hobby, or even to spend some time with your girlfriends. If you have kids hanging on you, are dealing with constant interruptions, or even if your responsibilities are weighing on your mind, it really isn’t “me time.”
What are the 3 phases this book takes you through?
Part 1 – Identifying Ourselves and Finding Inspiration
Part 2 – Turning Opportunities Into Possibilities
Part 3 – Making Goals Into Reality
How do you get inspired to write?
Being a mom has been one of the most challenging jobs that I have done in my life. I am inspired by all of the courageous women out there who call themselves “mom” and I hope to help make their lives a little bit easier.
I think about the challenges and struggles that I have personally gone through. I ask and listen to the issues that other moms are facing. I use my own observations and successes and break them down into manageable steps so that other moms can be successful too.
Finding Mom Excerpt 1
You may think that it’s impossible to get to know yourself while your children are young and that it will be easier when your children get older. The truth is, you don’t have to wait. I took my journal to the hospital with me when I had my second child and started implementing some of my goals right after I recovered from childbirth.
Refinding myself has really changed the entirety of my life. In the year following my own personal analysis, I managed to meet my goals of becoming an author, losing all my baby weight from both kids, and strengthening my spirituality. I discovered that I do not have the patience or the real skill for crocheting; I enjoy horseback riding and quiet time in the woods. Currently, I’m working through a couch to 5K program in order to run a race in a few months. I have future aspirations of having my own successful business, learning karate, and traveling the globe.
You may be thinking, “Well, good for you, Amanda, but I’m too busy to find myself.” Maybe you work full time, homeschool, have seven kids, and make all of your food from scratch. Maybe you volunteer at church or take care of an elderly parent or a special needs child. As mothers, our list of responsibilities is endless and our unique challenges may feel insurmountable. The thing is, if you really want to make a difference in your life, you will find a way. I purposely directed this book at moms because we face unique trials, and I wanted to really zero in on how you can make a difference in your life.
The “year of Amanda,” during which I took the time to find myself, was also one of the most hectic periods of my life to date. We had a new baby, my husband got a new job, and we moved from one house to another. All of this was going on while I was still actively raising and nurturing two children. The “year of you” may be even more hectic, but we are going to work together to make it a reality.
Are you ready for the “Year of You?”
This book is designed as an informational workbook to help you on your journey toward rediscovering yourself. I know there is so much in this book that it can be a bit overwhelming. You do not have to complete all of Part 1 at one time in order to get a lot out of this book. That’s why I broke the book down into three parts. You can explore as much or as little about yourself in Part 1 as you want, while still being able to turn your areas of improvement into actionable steps and goals in Part 2. In Part 3, you can learn how to take those goals and start applying them to your life. This book isn’t meant to be something to just read and forget. I want you to be able to take whatever time you have and put it into making a real change in your life.
After reading this book, you will be able to:
- Incorporate personal time into your daily routine (with the kids around)
- Identify your individual qualities, stresses, and opportunities
- Understand your personality and your family members’ personalities
- Set achievable goals particular to your life
- Start a realistic personal development plan
- Become the mom you want to be
If you actively partake in this book, you will have a solid plan for becoming who you are above and beyond the beloved label of “mom.” We have a lot to cover in this book, and I’m excited to help you change your life into one that is more fulfilling. As you turn the page, bring a pen to take notes and an open mind to discover your potential.
Let’s start finding you . . .
Finding Mom Excerpt 2
Chapter 5 – Personalities
Everyone’s personalities are different and they change throughout a person’s life. I know as a young girl I was very giddy and carefree. As I went through the different life stages that we talked about in Chapter 3, I found that as I gained more responsibilities I became more serious. As I grew spiritually, I became more aware of the challenges that others face.
As women, we face special challenges that can also change our personalities for a short period of time. For example, menstrual cycles can cause PMS. Pregnancy and nursing can cause extreme hormone fluctuations in a very short period of time. Menopause shows a multitude of physical, emotional, and hormonal changes occurring all at once.
Significant life events can also temporarily change your personality. For example, if you are in a new relationship or marriage, you may act a bit differently than when you had been in a relationship for a long time. If there’s a death in the family of someone you’re close to, your mourning period can change your outlook and the way you interact with others.
How would you describe yourself? How would someone else describe you? How do you want to be described? These are all questions that make up your personality and who you are. Sometimes when things are going so great in life I wonder what someone who met me for the first time would see me as. They aren’t getting a full picture, just a snapshot in time, but sometimes those first impressions take a long time to change.
It is important to remember that you do have control over your own personality. Just because someone has called you an uncomplimentary name doesn’t mean that is you and your personality unless you decide to make that a defining factor of who you are. If someone calls you a mean person and you take that to heart and start acting meaner, then yes, you have become a mean person. But that person really doesn’t know you. They don’t know everything that you’ve gone through or what you’re thinking or feeling. If they see a single snapshot of you being mean, they may make an assumption that you’re always mean. If they call you mean, you can either choose to ignore it or you can use it to make a difference to make sure you are more kind in the future.
People Oriented vs. Task Oriented
Everyone falls on the spectrum of being more people oriented versus being more task oriented. Someone who is more people oriented is more extroverted, likes to spend a lot of time with others, and is constantly seeking out other people. People-oriented individuals focus on the social aspect of a situation and are more in touch with other people’s feelings. One of the things that people-oriented individuals have to watch out for is that they might be so focused on others that they don’t think about themselves at all. People-oriented individuals may also be so focused on trying to impress others that they do not think about what they really like in life.
Someone who is very task oriented is thinking more about a specific project, to-do list, or events that are going on in their life. People are still important, but task-oriented people are more focused on what’s going on in their life than who is in their life. Task-oriented people tend to be a bit more introverted. One thing that task-oriented people have to be aware of is that they don’t become too much of a perfectionist.
Now, most people are not at the extremes of the people-oriented versus task-oriented spectrum. Most people fall somewhere in the middle where they lean toward being people oriented, but they still can focus well on tasks or vice versa. It’s important to figure out which type of personality you are because that affects what your “me time” looks like and how you interact with others. “Me time” for a very people-oriented individual may be a night out with the girls, whereas “me time” for a very task-oriented person may be time by themselves to do something that’s been on their bucket list.
Director vs. Supporter
The other personality continuum is Director versus Supporter. Directors are your leaders, organizers, guides, mentors, and advisors. These are your CEOs that are viewed as dominant, confident, convincing, respected, and influential. One thing that directors have to worry about is seeking too much power and not thinking about how their followers feel.
The other end of the spectrum is your supporters. These individuals are more conformists and helpers. They are defenders, guardians, and allies. They are viewed as reliable, trustworthy, dependable, and solid. One thing that supporters have to be aware of is that they aren’t overruled by directors and that they express their thoughts and opinions as well.
Now think of people oriented versus task oriented and director versus supporter as two intersecting continuums. Everyone falls somewhere along each axis. While someone could potentially be equally as much people oriented as task oriented and a director as much as a supporter, those individuals are in the minority. Most people lean one way or the other.
When these two continuums intersect, they create four personalities between them. In Chapter 6, you will be taking a personality quiz to figure out where you fall on each continuum and which personality you have.
The first personality is Influencers. Influencers are directors who are people oriented. These individuals are great at leading teams, and they know a lot about each member of their groups and how to motivate them. These are the moms who initiate playdates, lead the local moms’ groups, and invite people on outings. These are the people who others seem to be drawn to.
Managers are directors that are very task oriented. These are your project managers that are great at leading a plan to completion. These are the moms that are good at organizing the details of an event and taking care of sign-up sheets.
Satisfiers are supporters that are people oriented. These are people pleasers who make sure everyone is happy. They are great at placating others, and they go out of their way to do something for someone else. These are the moms who always have their ears open at your get-togethers and are the unofficial counselors of the group.
Helpers are supporters who are task oriented. They are good at getting something done, are hard workers, and are very dependable. They’re very valuable to have on any team, and they are sometimes the work force of the group. These are the moms who get everything done on their to-do list and then seem ready to tackle everyone else’s to-do list as well.
None of the different personalities are any better than the others. Everyone is just different. In fact, each personality is important to any group to function in a happy and healthy manner.
Personal development questions:
How would you describe your unique personality?
Where do you feel you fall on the personality continuums?
Are you ready to take the personality quiz to determine your personality? What are your mom friends’ personalities?
Amanda Mawhinney is an author, trainer and family relationship coach. Her professional passions are helping women to develop themselves and helping families to connect and build stronger bonds. Her blog, My Koala Pouch is where she writes about creating healthier families and fun activities for kids and adults.
Amanda holds a degree in Psychology from Clarion University of Pennsylvania. She was an HR professional at a company with over 11,000 employees worldwide. She designed, created and implemented many developmental courses and an orientation program. She trained management, developed employees, facilitated mentorship programs and strengthened interdepartmental teams. Before having children of her own, Amanda worked with children with behavioral issues and their families. As an AmeriCorps volunteer she taught disabled and at- risk youth about giving back to the community and the environment.
Amanda currently homeschools her two delightful daughters and spends her days enjoying the great outdoors, reading, writing and doing fun activities with her family. Visit her website, My Koala Pouch at www.mykoalapouch.blogspot.com.
Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/Amanda-Mawhinney/e/B01C57TCMW/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1
Goodreads author page: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15059327.Amanda_Mawhinney