Excerpt: Thank you For Holding

  CHAPTER ONE CARRIE I swear to you, when I get married, I am NOT going to make my bridesmaids pay $250 for a dress. A hideous dress that makes them look like a) a grandmother; b) an elephant; or, in extreme cases, c) a grandmother elephant. I'm not. Just because it comes from J. …

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Excerpt IT: Imaginary Things

Chapter One There was something about driving an ancient Dodge Caravan packed with all of my worldly possessions, including my four year-old son and my cat, that reeked of failure and desperation. The back of the minivan was crammed with duffel bags of clothing and cardboard boxes filled with pirate action figures, perfume bottles, matchbox …

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The Perils of Pauline Extract

I step out my front door to find my next-door neighbor standing at the edge of his lawn, staring across at our yard, his lips compressed into a frown.“Is everything okay, Lewis?”“Your water sprinkler is too close to my property line.”“How so? It’s on my lawn.”“When you water your lawn, my driveway is getting sprinkled.”I …

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